Monday nights episode of Jon & Kate + 8 was choc full of stuff a couple looking to make things work should never do.
Lets begin with what seems to be the recurring theme of this season : "I am here for my kids."
Translation : I don't want to be the bad guy who ups and leaves their family in pursuit of selfish endeavors. So, I'm gonna stay here and make my partner miserable until they decide they can't take it anymore. Why should I have to be the villain anyway?
It's a classic move among women who feel like they have put in too much work and too much time to be the one who walks away from a family.
Results: Passive aggressive as most women are, they use behavior, and emotionally draining tactics to give their man no reason to stay. Neither one believes that their children will hold together the marriage, but who wants to let their kids down in such a traumatic way?
Division of family time when the family is still together : "When she goes away I stay with the kids, when I go away she stays with the kids. The kids should always have 'a' parent with them."
Translation : The tension between the two of us is so thick that we can't comfortably or amicably take care of kids together.Rather than try to front like a loving couple and risk a big blow up in front of the children, we would rather not deal with it.
Results: Huge mistake if you are really trying to get it together. Visibly telling your children and loved ones that family time will no longer include mommy and daddy but one or the other at any given time.
Solo vacations, especially on your mates birthday: making any version of your personal interests more important than your spouse no matter what the occasion.
Translation: I don't care.
Results: Allowing for each parent to develop such strong outside interests (not to be confused with hobbies) solo deepens the divide between two people, making it appear more natural and seemingly acceptable to 'grow in separate directions.'
Jon & Kate have been a great example to families everywhere and what they are going through now is called real life. Is it still possible that this family will be able to rebuild on much stronger foundation due to the tests they now face, of course. But it wont happen with the type of behavior being displayed on TLC. I think everyone is wishing them luck, and praying for a blessing that will turn this thing around for them, but in the end Jon & Kate will have to make the decision for themselves.
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